I’ll always love you though, New York

There was a 9/11 thing on MYX today and they played this video. This song has actually been in my head for some time. It’s that inkling song, the song that goes like this–no, like this–wait, no–I don’t know, it’s about New York. That’s how I always thought of it.

I cried when I saw this video. I’ve seen it before but it just hit me particularly hard today. It’s not even 9/11 anymore here. I think it’s not as much as it is the date as it is the words: Hell, I still love you, New York. I’ll always love you though, New York. And it’s true, New York. I love you, I love you, I love you.

New York feels like the person whose story I have to write about. It’s the place where my soul was born. You know that story about humans having double body parts, so we were separated, doomed to find our other halves? My other half is a city. It’s a whole vast overflowing cauldron of heads and arms and legs, and I get to pick which ones I want, which lives I want.

It’s probably not right to be so disillusioned about a place I’ve never been, but I can feel it. This is it. That’s where I should be. I am meant to love New York.

Maybe the reason I lead such a loveless life (not just romantic love, even filial love, and hell, I don’t even know if I’m being a good friend) is because I’m meant to love things like words and places, things that can’t love me back so I have to love myself on my own. I just don’t have room for anyone else. And I’m completely fine with that. I can be alone for the rest of my life, if I’m alone in New York.

I know my heart belongs to someone I’ve yet to meet. (Someday You Will Be Loved, Death Cab for Cutie)

I know it’s not enough to make up for all those hearts you’ve lost that day, but here is mine. Take it.

It’s yours, New York; it was always yours.

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About shaniquasparkles
Fangirl writes. Has never written fanfiction. Pretends to write six-word stories.

2 Responses to I’ll always love you though, New York

  1. quorraskywalker says:

    oh Shani darling, how may I subscribe to you via email? I wanna be updated on your posts using my other email; not the one this blog is connected to… gets? hehe =))

    • I kind of get what you’re saying, but I’m not really sure how? I think there’s an RSS feed here somewhere but I’m not sure how it works. :)) Omg, sorry, such a fail. In short, di ko talaga alam, nagmamarunong lang ako. =))

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