03/01/2012 Leave a comment
If you sliced my brain in half, the inside surface (what do you call that, the underside of the surface?) would probably look like the view from speeding train. Or like a film projector on the fritz. Or like this.
It’s been hard for me to get to sleep lately. There are so many things to think and when the time comes to think them properly, the thoughts go away and get replaced with more more more thoughts. I now know what my To Read pile feels like. I don’t know. Things are too much.
I don’t know whether to attribute it to the holiday hangover or just the fact that is the New Year and I don’t feel any different. I’m finding it hard to accept the latter. I don’t feel like I’m supposed to feel. In fact, I feel like I’m already failing 2012 three days in. But I dunno. Isn’t not feeling the way you’re supposed to the story of our lives? Or at least the side of it that gets broadcasted on afternoon teleseryes.
Also, my impromptu resolutions aren’t working out too well. Figures. I’m not all too disappointed about this.
Last year, I only got one resolution done but it was a big one and I did feel like I lived a better life because I fulfilled that one resolution. It was ‘be nicer to my brother and sister.’
Maybe I should try that this year and make the others…side resolutions? In any case, I’ve narrowed my list down to
four three: Read 50 books, talk to people better, lose weight and stop judging people. Of course, with the three of these come the standard save-money-live-a-better-life-help-the-needy spiel. The first one is more of a goal and the last one is more of an impossibility.
Social betterment it is.
Now that that’s decided, I’d like to tell the tale of two things that have haunted me on my first day back.
One. If I’m interpreting the signs correctly, I think I’m finally going to Hogwarts.
My first class for the year was English 12, where we’ve started discussing Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. Turns out, my prof is an all-out Game of Thrones, cosplaying, Age of Empires playing geek and I think that is absolutely freaking awesome. (I also found her deviantArt a few months back and her art, too, is incredibly freaking awesome. But I digress.) Anyway, she started connecting the Gawain mythology with all that mystical Arthurian cheverness, and of course, being the pretentious little English geek, impressing English teachers is very important to me. Let’s just say much drama has been had because I wanted to the best at English.
Obviously, I don’t know anything even mildly Arthurian except The Great Tree of Avalon (I love this series but it’s a spin-off from the author’s original Merlin books), Merlin and Harry Potter. Maybe I should’ve spent my break watching Merlin and Game of Thrones and The Sword in the Stone and Quest for Camelot.
I dunno. Impressing English teachers means a lot to me. It was also the first class of the year. My mom always says that you should start everything well so the rest of it will turn out well. Well, well, well.
Oh and also, a Creative Writing classmate wrote a poem that is possibly most likely about Harry and Ginny. You can see how hard it is for me to do that judging resolution. Fandom is an entirely different matter.
Maybe Hogwarts is a bit of stretch, but I just wanted to share.
Two. I recently found out about Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard’s divorce. (WordPress, y u red underline Gibbard but not Deschanel?) I am ashamed to say that I belong to the clan of the secretly happy. Maybe not completely happy, but the amount of happiness is definitely enough to be ashamed about.
Let me start off by saying I am a fan of those involved. I am a fan of Death Cab for Cutie. I enjoy New Girl very much. I also enjoy watching this video. I AM GREATLY ASHAMED OKAY.
I feel so icky for enjoying someone’s break-up, but blogs exist so the blogger can defend his or herself. Even if there is not much to defend and nobody’s accusing her of anything. She just wants to get this out of her system.
So here’s my theory as I recounted to a friend over a free cut from French. For those who may know of my echoserang babae theory thing, this is related to that, but I guess in a more forgiving light, since this time I am actually sympathetic for the dude.
The theory is this: Some people are just meant to be together, but for some reason, they have to break someone else’s heart to realize that. They have to meet other people for God knows what reason. Maybe they don’t think it’s the right time, or they’re not sure about their feelings, but whatever it is, there will be that someone else. Ang echoserang babae o echoserong lalaki sa love story nila. But then, because echosero/a is not someone, but someone else, the relationship will disintegrate and the true love will go on as planned.
After telling my friend this, she asked, ‘So you believe in soul mates? What if your dude’s like in Antarctica or something?’
To which I replied, ‘This theory only applies to celebrities.’
I mean, after being linked to a few guys, Marion Cotillard still ended up with Guillaume Canet, didn’t she? Robin Scherbatsky and Barney Stinson (not celebrities per se, but they count because this is my blog) haven’t technically gotten back together but they will, obviously. And the clear clincher: Tom Felton and Emma Watson will get married one day, duh!
We all knew it was headed there.
Looking back at this entry, this may be less about love and more about my personal shipping biases.
Again, I am ashamed.
Blog better. NOT GONNA HAPPEN.